My dreams

I can see it approaching ! No where to run and hide . Its that time I start having many  maybes , what ifs ? whys? There is  no escape from it . The best way is to get my arsenal ready and close to me . I am just like little David facing Goliath but hey David conquered ! I am victorious ! I know its gonna be a wild and crazy ride but it will be worth it .Patience and endurance plus a leap of faith will keep me going . I can hear a tik tok! tik tok! My head will be like a time bomb about to explode .Better get my gear ready to diffuse it  :)

'Hey ! Can you even see  me ?!' She retorted as  I walked away. ' Hey just look at me for once and then go and look at yourself in the mirror '  I kept ignoring her and minded my own business . She stuck around and followed me wherever I went but I still never cared . I did not have the courage to even listen to her or look at her .Why should I look at her and start having premonitions ? I accepted my cowardice and died several times before my death .

Days passed and turned into weeks , weeks gave birth to months  but she was still there . She watched me transform into a different being but never gave up on me  .Like an obsessed partner she watched me closely and tried to confront me ,my heart was made up and I was not going back !I rose and fell and rose and fell again like a toddler learning her first steps , in a distance she still watched me and felt sorry me . Why would she feel sorry for me when I was not even feeling sorry for myself ? 

Time came and I hit rock bottom , it all started making sense . She was not there to annoy me or be judgmental ? She was not quiter and gave up on me whenever I walked away on her . She never imposed herself on me or masked her true qualities inspite of being abandoned and left out cold in the streets .She still stayed the same , but I was emasculated by lies and the sweetness of deceit .

'Just take a moment , try to gain the strength and look on that mirror . Is that person looking back you really you ?' It touched me , the person looking back at me was not me . It was like looking a stranger yet it was my own reflection . She asked me to trace my steps back like rewinding a video cassette and see where I had slipped.Too many times I slipped but I always stood right back up and fought in what I believed in , but a moment came when I stopped caring .That was the time I made her my nemesis , pushed her away and stopped facing her . She was not the villain , I was because I feasting with my lies and vices .

'As long as you are here I will never leave you alone and be assured of that .I will always be here , it will be your choice to be close to me or walk away.I will never metamorphosise ,I will still be same ' she said that while smiling at me . I gave her a grin and took her hand .We are close today , in times of happiness or sadness she shall still be the same.It will always depend on me to take her with me or walk away .