My dreams

That feeling of relief that embraces me as I drive towards the carport, parking my car next to his . He must be home early today  .Today has been a very long and busy day for me .Not because I had a lot of patients to attend to but because of the numerous errands that I ran .The car engine dies down and I take my handbag , my dirty uniform and  a bag of groceries that I picked up on the way .I am finally home , in my comfort zone , my fortress of solitude . A place where I will not see sick looking people looking for help around me , sounds of  wailing women whose relative they brought has crossed the river .

Red starts barking at me and wagging his tail as he sees me dragging my tired self into the house . "Come on boy, I am not in a mood to play" I mutter , but that does not stop this adorable  white Labrador from jumping around as an expression of excitement that I will offer him treats .As I  enter the deserted  kitchen I am thrilled to notice something different  . 'It seems Anaphiri did some serious cleaning today' I speak  to myself as I  drop the shopping bag on the table.The kitchen is sparkling clean, well apart from an empty glass of juice and a dish in the sink which have just been used.

The house is awfully quiet , with  the low T.V sound coming from the lounge . I wearily stride myself there to see that one face that I have not seen the whole day.I rush to see him and I see  piles of paperwork and mails that have filled the coffee tables and the floor .He has brought his work at home again ,I think to myself.But it doesn't matter as I Watch him peacefully  sleep like a kid on the couch making  my heart melt as that urge  to be next to him rules me.

"Am home" I whisper into his ears after kissing him lightly on the forehead .
" Its about time you came home , we need to talk" He hissees as he wakes up and hands me a letter that was on top of the piles of papers that were on the coffee table.
"Your loan application has been approved !Loan?When and why did you apply for such a huge amount without consulting me ?!'
I do not know how to respond because the bombshell has been dropped and I have no where to run. I can  see furry in the mans eyes as I try not to look at him but read the letter over and over again as if it has any grammatical error.
"I'm sorry" I respond sarcastically  without knowing what else to say at that moment.I Am ambushed, I don't know what else to say .
"Sorry?is that all ?Am I not supposed to be consulted first before such decisions are made ?!"
"You are talking about consulting now?! Honey , you did not consult me when u lend your friend money which we budgeted for so that he should fix his childish mistakes ! so you don't have to complain about this !"
I defend myself with no sense of remorse , the heat of the moment has had an energising effect on me as I feel semi refreshed .

"Hey! Hey !Hey! Woman ! that is my friend ! We have been through a lot so you do not disrespect him like that!"he raises his voice while his eyes feast on me like a hungry lion hunting for prey.
" I am your wife ! You have to remember that ! you can not just make a decision without hearing my say! By the way , that is my loan and my problem! "I stand up and  rush upstairs .
"Come back here !!We are not done! "
"We are done ! I am tired and i need my shower and a goodnight sleep! thanks for making me loose my appetite!" I race up the stairs and shut the door.

I hate such days when my comfort zone turned into  a battle field . I pick up the phone and call my best friend who has not said a word since i called her because I keep bickering  and complaining till I let it all out . I hate her with a passion for calming me down and knocking sense into my head , clearly I am still angry and  not in a mood to sort this out. AlI need is a shower and some sleep. As for him he will come back to bed whenever he is ready to sleep . .I know he will . although sleep is taking me to dreamland but ill find him next to me when I wake up.I will apologise for my action and I know he will give me a lecture on how I am supposed to be submissive but he will forgive me .My eyes are giving up and drifting me to dreamland.

These are thoughts of a girl whose mind went into the future to explore what is there .A person who believes thats dreams do come true and lets her mind fly to any destination where things are possible .Thoughts of a girl who is still a medical student writing this under a table with her laptop on the floor.

It is very common nowadays to see  hash tags like #teamAfro , #TeamNatural on Facebook , twitter , Instagram !I can proudly say I have also posted a photo with such a hash tag since I have an Afro myself .  Its not really a common thing that black women of this generation still keep their hair natural . Aside from religious views which others follow that do not allow us ladies to perm our hair and our economic status which would not allow us to buy hair chemical , natural hair styles are on the loosing side . I am not being biased but let us consider all those women in the urban areas who keep hair . Most of them keep it permed or they braid it  because they do not have time to sit down daily and blow dry it as they comb so that it looks presentable.Some just like weaves to make them look different .

People who perm or braid their hair are not always doing it because they are ashamed of our own African hair texture but to be honest our hair is kinky! Yeah , I said it !We have kinky hair , try staying with your natural hair for a week and see how hard it will be to comb it if its dry .I remember the old days when I would cry every morning when my sister or mum  tried to fix my natural hair to make me look presentable.Dry hair is painful and hard to comb especially if it is long .

Having an Afro is challenge , its something most of us don't want to have. Short Afro hair is not really a problem because you can wash it every morning , dry it with a towel and comb it. It does not need styling of any sort. Long Afros need time and care , if you have a long Afro and do not take good care of it you will end up looking like a lady with a mop in her head.

I once went through my parents old photos to see the kinds of hair styles that they had . To my surprise my Dad has an Afro too!He proudly said that those days men with Afros were considered cool and funky!Hair extensions were not there those days so the ladies just had to either keep and Afro or make cornrows. It must have been really hard maintaining an Afro because Electricity was not in every house those days and speaking of hair driers , they were only available in a few salons . My Granny once told me that in order to make the Afro soft , they would take a nicely shaped stone , heat it by placing it on the fire and when its hot they would make it pass through the hair . They had to carefully do that to avoid burning the scalp and their hands when they were doing it . That sounds like flat ironing the hair using a stone .

In this modern age of blow driers and tongs ,keeping an Afro is not as hard as it was in the old days . But as I have already said , it takes time to style it . so most of us think : why should I waste time every morning washing my hair , straightening it and styling it when I can have braids which don't need a lot of time to tie them in a bow ? Be it braids , permed hair or Afro  , if you are keeping it neat go ahead ! For those rocking an Afro kudos!