Fear of the unkown
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Sometimes we are afraid of the future . The thing about the future is that it is full of mysteries and puzzles . What we do today will affect our decision and our action in future . Right now I am burried in my books and notes studying for my state exams . A few months ago I was so happy that this long journey is finally coming to end . A journey which has taken me through ups and downs of medical school.Battling cold winters and hot summers in a foreign country a thousand miles away from home .Now when I come to think of it , I am scared . I dont know what the future holds , will I be good enough ? Will I make it to the top ? How many times will I fall ? Will patients entrust me with their lives ?
So many questions that are in my mind . These past 6 years have groomed me into the person I am right now , and they will still reflect on the kind of doctor that I will be . I feel like a goldfish in an ocean , the ocean is big and full of bigger , meaner and faster fish . How can I make it on my own ? I must surely make some friends who will help me through this journey . Lucky enough I have made some friends who give insight of what it will be like out there .
Last week a very good friend of mine told me that how I act , dress and speak reflects on my profession . All these will make people to either admire, despise or trust me . When I heard it at first took it as one of those critising acts that he always does on me . When I sat down and digested what he said it actually made sense . I am going to the real world , I am not a big little girl anymore.I can not live with the moto that I should not care what people will say because if I act wild it will come back to me in some way .I am going out in the world where I will come across people from different walks of life and I have to be ready for the unexpected .
Happy times that will make me love my job will come , so will tough times . What will I do when I am faced with a tough situation ? Should I sit down , complain and regret why I chose medicine ? No! I will need to stand up,dust myself up and keep moving ! As day to write my final state examinations approach , I will be filled with so many questions , fears . But well Why should I worry about tomorrow ? Tomorrow has its own problems , right now I just have to study more , revise and dig deeper . It wont be an easy road but it will be one step closer to me having that pamphlet and reading the Hypocratic Oath .
So many questions that are in my mind . These past 6 years have groomed me into the person I am right now , and they will still reflect on the kind of doctor that I will be . I feel like a goldfish in an ocean , the ocean is big and full of bigger , meaner and faster fish . How can I make it on my own ? I must surely make some friends who will help me through this journey . Lucky enough I have made some friends who give insight of what it will be like out there .
Last week a very good friend of mine told me that how I act , dress and speak reflects on my profession . All these will make people to either admire, despise or trust me . When I heard it at first took it as one of those critising acts that he always does on me . When I sat down and digested what he said it actually made sense . I am going to the real world , I am not a big little girl anymore.I can not live with the moto that I should not care what people will say because if I act wild it will come back to me in some way .I am going out in the world where I will come across people from different walks of life and I have to be ready for the unexpected .
Happy times that will make me love my job will come , so will tough times . What will I do when I am faced with a tough situation ? Should I sit down , complain and regret why I chose medicine ? No! I will need to stand up,dust myself up and keep moving ! As day to write my final state examinations approach , I will be filled with so many questions , fears . But well Why should I worry about tomorrow ? Tomorrow has its own problems , right now I just have to study more , revise and dig deeper . It wont be an easy road but it will be one step closer to me having that pamphlet and reading the Hypocratic Oath .
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