Done !

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Yeah ! That is is me ! I have finally made it through medical school . I must say it has been one long journey  , full of ups and down but God is faithful and I have graduated at last . I am so happy because I finally living my dream . I remember coming to Russia to start my first year of medical school when 1 semester had already passed . Catching up with my classmates was not easy because I had to write all tests that they already wrote and passed . It was really tough since I had to catch up with the work they were doing then and the work that they had already done . I was so overwhelmed such that sometimes I felt like giving up but God gave me strength to keep pushing further . He also blessed me with supportive parents that kept encouraging me to work extra hard even though sometimes I felt like i would never make it . A phone call from them with words of encouragement always motivated me .

I came to a place where I knew no one  but with time I made friends who have been with me till now . I met people from different parts of the world and I tried to live with them  in harmony . It has not always been easy to live with them because we have all been raised in different homes and traditions .I am greatful  for friends like Xiao Chiann , girl I will never forget you . I know that we have never really been best of friends but our friendship was worth . You were one of those few friends that I had before some people came into my life . You might have moved to another city a thousand miles from Peters but I still cherish the moments that we spent together the first 3 years .I am thankful for all the friends that I have had throughout  the 7 years that I have spent so far away from home .  Russia ended up being my second home because of the friends that were with me through good times and tough times . Friendships are forever and no matter how far all of you go , I  will always cherish the moments that we spent together.

Life in Russia has never been easy , from the harsh winters which are not excuses for me to miss classes to harsh people who are still not informed that we are all equal . I  met racists  and  have been called names but in the end I got  used and accepted the fact that other people will always be cold . I have been mugged too and this resulted into me getting a beat up , that was one of the worst things that I  ever experienced  . When I was on the ground and getting that  beat up  I had so many unanswered questions . Was that the end ?Was that the way I was going to die ? What will my parents do? Who can help me? But God is a merciful and I was not killed during all this . My parents thought about my safety and wanted me to go back home but I refused because what will not kill you will make you stronger .

 This journey was an interesting  journey all , from studying cell biology to studying surgery . I have met different teachers , some who just hated their jobs and were very bitter  while others were so kind and taught us many things . I  used to think that when I graduate I would have enough strength to speak my mind to all those mean teachers but right now I so filled with happiness to shout to hurt a fly . The things that I have learned  in medical school have helped me a lot during the time that I have been doing my summer practice at Kamuzu central Hospital  and I will forever use the skills and knowledge that I have acquired from this place.

Graduating is not the end of this all  , its actually the beginning of a new life . A beginning of new experiences because experience is the best teacher . I am a different person because of my life here in Russia , the friends that I made , the people from all different walks that I came across .I will this place , the people that I met ,  the cuisine ,  the environment , the wonderful changes that occur in each season.But  I guess it is time I grow up and go into the real world and save lives as per Geneva declaration . This is just the beginning of a new chapter of my life and I will fly like a cannonball fired from Russia .

Backstabber

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Your actions make you feel like a hero
My efforts can count to zero
Stabbing painful words that hurt my back
Produced by those sweet lips
Targeted like an arrow towards the bulls eye

Hit me with those backstabbing comments like a pinata
As shame and remorse  ooze out of my belly
Feed on my shame and mistakes
Suck on my pride like a vampire

 Undress me with the "do you know ?' or 'Have you heard '
Your disloyalty pushes me toward the cliff of doubt 
Painfully landing on sharp rocks of rumors
Throw your verbal  dirt on me  but I wont look back
Thorns of lies will shred my feet but I will keep moving
Winds of regret will try to blow me but firm I will stand


Fear of the unkown

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Sometimes we are afraid of the future . The thing about the future is that it is full of mysteries  and puzzles . What we do today will affect our decision and our action in future . Right now I am burried in my books and notes studying for my state exams . A few months ago I was so happy that this long journey is finally coming to end . A journey which has taken me through ups and downs of medical school.Battling cold winters and hot summers in a foreign country a thousand miles away from home .Now when I come to think of it , I am scared . I dont know what the future holds , will I be good enough ? Will I make it to the top ? How many times will I fall ? Will patients entrust me with their lives ?

So many questions that are in my mind . These past 6 years have groomed me into the person I am right now , and they will still reflect on the kind of doctor that I will be . I feel like a goldfish in an ocean , the ocean is big and full of bigger , meaner and faster fish . How can I make it on my own ? I must surely make some friends who will help me through this journey . Lucky enough I have made some  friends who give insight of what it will be like out there .

Last week a very good friend of mine told me that how I act , dress and speak reflects on my profession . All these will make people to either admire, despise or trust me . When I heard it at first  took it as one of those critising acts that he always does on me . When I sat down and digested what he said it actually made sense . I am going to the real world , I am not a big little girl anymore.I can not live with the moto that I should not care what people will say because if I act wild it will come back to me in some way  .I am going out in the world where I will come across people from different walks of life and I have to be ready for the unexpected .

Happy times that will make me love my job will come , so will tough times . What will I do when I am faced  with a tough situation ? Should I sit down , complain and regret why I chose medicine ? No! I will need to stand up,dust myself up and keep moving ! As day to write my final state examinations approach , I will be filled with so many questions , fears . But well Why should I worry about tomorrow ? Tomorrow has its own problems , right now I just have to study more , revise and dig deeper . It wont be an easy road but it will be one step closer to me having that pamphlet and reading the Hypocratic Oath .

I ill just do it , everyone is

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Lately I have seen a lot of my friends posting statuses on social network about their impending nuptials , engagement dates . It seems like everyone these days is either getting engaged or getting married . Well I think I have just reached that age where engagements and weddings are the centre of most discussions . Whenever I sit down and talk to my friends the topic of  weddings and the whole shebang comes up .When I am at home , my mum and aunties talk about it too , I guess I am in that circle now .But hey what else can people talk about after all most of us are done with school and some are even working . Marriage is just the next step after finishing college and getting a job .

Some of  my friends are meeting  guys in 3-6 months down the line they are planning on tying a knot . Oh come on! 6 months ? Is that really enough time to know someone and be satisfied enough to spend the rest of your life with them ? I do not think so . In my opinion 6 months is not enough time to learn about someone and know their true colours to marry them . Where is that Marriage is sacred belief people? It can not take  months for you to totally know someone  because studies have shown that the first 3 months in a relationship are called the honeymoon months . During the 3 months we all hide our nasty sides and only display our pleasant characters to please the person that we are dating .So if the first 3 months are the ones we are hiding our true character , is 3 months enough to really get to know someone and get married to them ?

 I am no expert in love and marriage because I have never gotten married  , but I think most girls are doing this for the society . Getting married because the society says you have reached the ripe age to get married and bear children. Aside from the society our parents sometimes want us to get married so that they should earn that respect parents whose children have gotten married earn . They want to walk proudly with the sense that they raised us right enough to get married .

It is every girl's dream to one day wear that white ball gown and walk down the aisle and officially be Mrs. X .To have that wonderful reception where people will dance for you and shower you with gifts , we all want that no matter how choosy we can be sometimes ..A wise woman once told me that marriage is not about the day you will say "I do" and have that big fat reception , or  about two people rolling in bed legally .Marriage starts  after that wonderful reception has taken place , after all your friends and relatives have wished you the best and left . Thats where the real marriage starts!

Most people say that it is better to get married to your best friend , nowadays I actually agree with that . The person you are with is supposed to be your lover and best friend . Someone you have known for a while , someone who knows your inside and out and will never judge you for the silly mistakes that you have made . The day You will walk down the aisle and say "Till death do us part " you have to really say it from the bottom of your heart . That " I do" means that you have accepted the person for who he is and you will live with that for the rest of you life . Do not marry someone with an intention of changing them because people do not really change , Only God can change someone . Some people are getting divorced 1 year down the line because they say that the person that they got married to is not the same anymore . If you never took some time to get to know someone and accept them for who they are then you will truly marry the wrong person .

 Ladies let us not get married to someone because every Stella , Sarah and Diana are getting married . Do not just do it like Nike ! Let God guide you and show you the way so that one day you should not sit down and ask yourself why you made that mistake of marrying him . Lets take a look at our parents , some have been married for more than 30 years , if you ask them they will tell you that it has not been an easy road but God guided them and kept them strong . Do not let the society be the centre of your relationship , let God be the centre of it , let Him be the third cord to your rope.Look around and ask the wise people out there . Dont say 'Ill just do it ! I will settle the rest as we go forward" .Do not get married because it is in fashion .




Day dreamer

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That feeling of relief that embraces me as I drive towards the carport, parking my car next to his . He must be home early today  .Today has been a very long and busy day for me .Not because I had a lot of patients to attend to but because of the numerous errands that I ran .The car engine dies down and I take my handbag , my dirty uniform and  a bag of groceries that I picked up on the way .I am finally home , in my comfort zone , my fortress of solitude . A place where I will not see sick looking people looking for help around me , sounds of  wailing women whose relative they brought has crossed the river .

Red starts barking at me and wagging his tail as he sees me dragging my tired self into the house . "Come on boy, I am not in a mood to play" I mutter , but that does not stop this adorable  white Labrador from jumping around as an expression of excitement that I will offer him treats .As I  enter the deserted  kitchen I am thrilled to notice something different  . 'It seems Anaphiri did some serious cleaning today' I speak  to myself as I  drop the shopping bag on the table.The kitchen is sparkling clean, well apart from an empty glass of juice and a dish in the sink which have just been used.

The house is awfully quiet , with  the low T.V sound coming from the lounge . I wearily stride myself there to see that one face that I have not seen the whole day.I rush to see him and I see  piles of paperwork and mails that have filled the coffee tables and the floor .He has brought his work at home again ,I think to myself.But it doesn't matter as I Watch him peacefully  sleep like a kid on the couch making  my heart melt as that urge  to be next to him rules me.

"Am home" I whisper into his ears after kissing him lightly on the forehead .
" Its about time you came home , we need to talk" He hissees as he wakes up and hands me a letter that was on top of the piles of papers that were on the coffee table.
"Your loan application has been approved !Loan?When and why did you apply for such a huge amount without consulting me ?!'
I do not know how to respond because the bombshell has been dropped and I have no where to run. I can  see furry in the mans eyes as I try not to look at him but read the letter over and over again as if it has any grammatical error.
"I'm sorry" I respond sarcastically  without knowing what else to say at that moment.I Am ambushed, I don't know what else to say .
"Sorry?is that all ?Am I not supposed to be consulted first before such decisions are made ?!"
"You are talking about consulting now?! Honey , you did not consult me when u lend your friend money which we budgeted for so that he should fix his childish mistakes ! so you don't have to complain about this !"
I defend myself with no sense of remorse , the heat of the moment has had an energising effect on me as I feel semi refreshed .

"Hey! Hey !Hey! Woman ! that is my friend ! We have been through a lot so you do not disrespect him like that!"he raises his voice while his eyes feast on me like a hungry lion hunting for prey.
" I am your wife ! You have to remember that ! you can not just make a decision without hearing my say! By the way , that is my loan and my problem! "I stand up and  rush upstairs .
"Come back here !!We are not done! "
"We are done ! I am tired and i need my shower and a goodnight sleep! thanks for making me loose my appetite!" I race up the stairs and shut the door.

I hate such days when my comfort zone turned into  a battle field . I pick up the phone and call my best friend who has not said a word since i called her because I keep bickering  and complaining till I let it all out . I hate her with a passion for calming me down and knocking sense into my head , clearly I am still angry and  not in a mood to sort this out. AlI need is a shower and some sleep. As for him he will come back to bed whenever he is ready to sleep . .I know he will . although sleep is taking me to dreamland but ill find him next to me when I wake up.I will apologise for my action and I know he will give me a lecture on how I am supposed to be submissive but he will forgive me .My eyes are giving up and drifting me to dreamland.

These are thoughts of a girl whose mind went into the future to explore what is there .A person who believes thats dreams do come true and lets her mind fly to any destination where things are possible .Thoughts of a girl who is still a medical student writing this under a table with her laptop on the floor.





Afro Hair Battles

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It is very common nowadays to see  hash tags like #teamAfro , #TeamNatural on Facebook , twitter , Instagram !I can proudly say I have also posted a photo with such a hash tag since I have an Afro myself .  Its not really a common thing that black women of this generation still keep their hair natural . Aside from religious views which others follow that do not allow us ladies to perm our hair and our economic status which would not allow us to buy hair chemical , natural hair styles are on the loosing side . I am not being biased but let us consider all those women in the urban areas who keep hair . Most of them keep it permed or they braid it  because they do not have time to sit down daily and blow dry it as they comb so that it looks presentable.Some just like weaves to make them look different .

People who perm or braid their hair are not always doing it because they are ashamed of our own African hair texture but to be honest our hair is kinky! Yeah , I said it !We have kinky hair , try staying with your natural hair for a week and see how hard it will be to comb it if its dry .I remember the old days when I would cry every morning when my sister or mum  tried to fix my natural hair to make me look presentable.Dry hair is painful and hard to comb especially if it is long .

Having an Afro is challenge , its something most of us don't want to have. Short Afro hair is not really a problem because you can wash it every morning , dry it with a towel and comb it. It does not need styling of any sort. Long Afros need time and care , if you have a long Afro and do not take good care of it you will end up looking like a lady with a mop in her head.

I once went through my parents old photos to see the kinds of hair styles that they had . To my surprise my Dad has an Afro too!He proudly said that those days men with Afros were considered cool and funky!Hair extensions were not there those days so the ladies just had to either keep and Afro or make cornrows. It must have been really hard maintaining an Afro because Electricity was not in every house those days and speaking of hair driers , they were only available in a few salons . My Granny once told me that in order to make the Afro soft , they would take a nicely shaped stone , heat it by placing it on the fire and when its hot they would make it pass through the hair . They had to carefully do that to avoid burning the scalp and their hands when they were doing it . That sounds like flat ironing the hair using a stone .

In this modern age of blow driers and tongs ,keeping an Afro is not as hard as it was in the old days . But as I have already said , it takes time to style it . so most of us think : why should I waste time every morning washing my hair , straightening it and styling it when I can have braids which don't need a lot of time to tie them in a bow ? Be it braids , permed hair or Afro  , if you are keeping it neat go ahead ! For those rocking an Afro kudos!

On Love

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We all need human connection .We all want that feeling of being needed , loved , cherished  and the whole package . Most of us are on a journey , a  holy grail in search of true love . In the past few years I have tried to understand what love really is but to be honest I have not really come to that conclusion of what love between a man and a woman is . Don't get me wrong here , it doesn't mean that I haven't been in love or loved someone or that is what I thought I was doing .

Love is a four letter word that has many definitions . According to the Oxford dictionary , Love is defined as : a strong feeling of affection . Wikipedia which is peoples favourite encyclopedia these days defines love as : a variety of different feelings , states and attitudes that ranges from interpersonal affection or pleasure . It can refer to an emotion of strong attraction and personal attachment . Ok , let me focus on the second definition of love , an emotion of strong attraction and personal attachment .

The main question that most of us will never understand is what makes us get attracted to that person ? We are all unique in some way , our physique , character , attitude  but what makes one person prefer and get attracted to another person? I cant answer that too , I guess it is a puzzle that we are all trying to solve . Most of the times we get attracted by the persons looks and then the character comes later , first impression does matter when it comes to human connection .

Its so cliche how one person can walk into our lives and change the way we view things . One person can affect our emotions , the way we feel , the way we react . It only takes one person to make us feel different . Sometimes we have different thing that we like but then in the end we end up liking things the other person likes . When the person is not around , you miss them and make conversations in your head which you wish you had if they were around . When it comes to tackling a problem , we try to think how they would think and deal with it .I define that as love .

I have come to learn that love is not about being content and having someone who makes you  happy all the time . That is what the media and romantic novels have succeeded implanting in our heads. Love is not easy , when I find or have my Mr. Darsy  that doesn't mean that the story continues with Mr. Darsy doing everything that he can to cherish me , make me happy what not ! No! That is where people go wrong , finding a person to build a relationship with means that both of you should play that game . I read a post about a certain blogger who said 'If you find a partner and fall inlove with them with the aim of them filling that empty space ,  or making you happy and satisfying all your needs then Love is not for you !' I couldn't agree more . Love is about you finding that person who has something in common with you , you build a relationship by working hard to make them happy , feel secure . You do everything it takes to bring a smile on their face , you sacrifice some things so that the other person should not be hurt , you involve them in your decision making process , you pray for them and try to help them when they are down . I think that is what love is all about .

Roses can come sometimes ,who doesn't love gifts? You can go for walks , picnics and candle light dinner . Those are just spices that you are supposed to add in the bowl of love . You can not really understand a person sometimes , the best thing to do is embrace on their strength and try to help them on their weaknesses . We all have imperfections , that is what makes us human but love helps us embrace ,and learn more  about them . Love is not about who is better than the other ,you just let all the cards on the table for the other person to see . When you are in love you let the other person into your world and there is nothing to hide . The bible according to 1 John 4:18 says 'There is no FEAR in love , but perfect love casts out fear ...' I wont go till the end of the verse but there you have it , why should you be afraid when you are in love?

As we know , love is not an easy thing to understand since our love stories are different  but work hard and do whatever it takes because Love is not a fight but its worth fighting for . Get your boxing gloves and face it , do not be afraid .


Genesis of Good neighbours Association

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One day You will see this face some where , I might appear in the newspaper or a magazine or on a certain website . Then You will remember her , you will remember that you saw her first on my blog . That smiling face , is a face of a lady who wants to bring change to her community , its the face of a person who wants to see people around her smile . It is the same smile she gives people when she is  offering help , its the face of hope , the face of change .Its the face of Tadala Thembakako Chagomelana .
In my last post , I mentioned that I met a wonderful woman and that I would explain more about her later but I did not know that it would be this soon . First of all let me start by saying how wonderful it has been getting to know her . Tadala is a name in Chichewa which is my local language which means we are blessed or favoured .Sorry Tadala if I have not really gotten the right meaning of your name .
For some time Tadala and I  have been  talking a lot about helping the community  around us and making it a better place . There are a lot people in our communities who need help. We decided not to sit around and pretend like we do not know that there are people out there whose lives we can touch and change . Last weekend she attended a meeting at Christian organization based in Blantyre called the  Young Christian Women Association . This organization is aimed at serving the community and helping to spread the gospel .This meeting was like fuel for the journey that she has engaged in . It inspired and motivated her to go ahead with her dreams of helping the community .
Looking around the neighbouring community of Manyowe which is  close to her residential area made her realize that she can do more to serve the community .Manyowe is one of the poor residential areas in the city of Blantyre .Taking a walk around Manyowe made Tadala to  have the hunger of doing something to bring change as good neighbor would do . That was the birth of the Good Neighbours Association .With this movement she plans on giving extra lessons in English language and other subjects to the kids at a primary school in this community . This idea came because of the high school drop out rates due to poverty and lack of role models in the society . Not only will she equip them with knowledge and guidance but she will also be providing the children with their needs in a way that she can . This organization has just been planted and initiated by one person , hopefully more people will join to help bring change not only in Manyowe but the surrounding areas. Join us as we embark on a journey to bring change and help those in need .
 As Martin Luther King Jr. Once said , you do not need a college degree or for your subject and verb to agree so that you serve the community , all you need is a gentle soul and a loving heart .Change begins with you ,  You do not need to have a lot of money to serve your community . Those Clothes that don't fit anymore can be given to someone in your community who is in need , that is serving the community too .Tadala will be serving the community of Manyowe by helping kids in school and inspiring them to be better citizens , what are you doing to serve your community ?





out with 2013 , In with 2014

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It 2014 now , should I say Yippe ?! I don't know how to express my feelings towards the beginning of this year but its here isn't it ? I know most people are excited and have a lot of expectations in this newly restored year .Some have made resolutions to change in some way. As for me I will first of all start by thanking God for keeping me alive till now , some of my loved ones never made it this far God rest their Souls .




2013 in details ..huh? Should I go down this road ?!Ok I will just be brief and explain what happened last year .It was a year that shaped me and changed me into a different person , thank maturity for that because it never comes easy in some people. It is a year that changed my perception about things , how I view things now and how to tackle some situations . In the beginning I made some resolutions like everybody else does , to be a better person , to love more and care more bla bla bla ! I actually did fulfill some of the resolutions that I made in the beginning of the new year last year . That is one thing I am really proud of .




To be honest it was a happy year and a sad year for me , lets go straight to the happy moments shall we ? I was in 5th year of my medical school last year , that's an achievement isn't it ?I have gained more medical experience than I did before and I don't feel like a goldfish in an ocean anymore .




I fell in love too !Yeah I did , it was something different I must say .Until now I can not really explain how and why but it just happened ,as they say we cant help who we fall in love with savy? I wont say much about this but a cupid got me.
 I made new friends too ! I love making new friends , people come into our lives and give us insight of things that we never thought could happen . I finally became close with Tadala , I will talk more about her another time but shes an amazing lady.Ok Tadala is not the only friend that I made but meeting her  was something of great significance .




I met Hanna , finally!!Unbelievable right? After so many years and so many attempts we finally met. What a lovely reunion it was !Have you ever had a friend who is far and you have never met but then you finally meet and it feels like you have met before? That is how it was with Miss Hanna! We just clicked one on one , maybe our madness tangle after all. I met Louis , my childhood friend who I played with when we were living in Blantyre .We  met after so many years , thanks to technology we were still in contact .Unfortunately I never met a lot of people that I promised to see , don't worry guys I will see you soon !




I don't want to go into the sad moments of last year because some wounds haven't  healed yet. Travelling through memory lane is agonizingly painful sometimes but then if we do we realize that we are stronger than we know . I lost a very good friend Tusekire ,it was a very dark time for me and I never understood why it happened . Unknowingly I went through the 5 stages of grief and I have come to accept it .You know when your loved dies a lot of things don't make sense but later they do , its actually last year that made me understand and hold on to the bible verse which says : To live is Christ and to die is gain ( Philipians 1 :21) . I will always miss you dear , I know one day we will meet again .




Back to 2014 , this year has a lot in store for me . Both sweet and bitter times are coming ahead , I have to brace myself because if I let my guard down it might end up being an unproductive year for me  .This year I did not make any resolutions , please this should not make some of you do the same !hehehe I don't know why but I just decided to live my life .I will continue appreciating each day as it comes , love , care , hold on to people who care about me ,embrace each moment  that is what I will do throughout this year. Happy New year readers.